To the athlete whose coach embarrasses them — the parents who witness it — and the coaches who need to be reminded —
You didn’t deserve that.
That outburst in front of your team?
The sarcasm after your mistake?
The eye roll, the clipboard toss, the shouting match with your confidence?
The sarcasm after your mistake?
The eye roll, the clipboard toss, the shouting match with your confidence?
You didn’t deserve that.
To the athlete —
You will get through this.
You cannot control your coach, but you can control how you respond.
Don’t let their immaturity define your identity.
Don’t let their words write your story.
And don’t let their behavior make you believe you’re anything less than capable.
You will get through this.
You cannot control your coach, but you can control how you respond.
Don’t let their immaturity define your identity.
Don’t let their words write your story.
And don’t let their behavior make you believe you’re anything less than capable.
This hurts — I know.
But do not quit.
Do not shrink.
Do not carry their shame as your own.
But do not quit.
Do not shrink.
Do not carry their shame as your own.
Let it roll.
Yes — it’s hard. But don’t let one coach’s unacceptable behavior pierce the core of who you are.
Use this moment to grow in resilience, in grit, in mental toughness.
You are more than this moment.
You are more than that tone, that look, that sideline breakdown.
Yes — it’s hard. But don’t let one coach’s unacceptable behavior pierce the core of who you are.
Use this moment to grow in resilience, in grit, in mental toughness.
You are more than this moment.
You are more than that tone, that look, that sideline breakdown.
You will get through this. And it does not define you.
To the parents —
You saw it.
You felt the pit in your stomach.
You watched your kid walk off the court with tears in their eyes and silence on their lips.
You saw it.
You felt the pit in your stomach.
You watched your kid walk off the court with tears in their eyes and silence on their lips.
Don’t press.
Just hug them.
Remind them that what happened isn’t okay.
Remind them they’re not crazy for feeling crushed.
And depending on your child’s age and voice, stand in the gap if they can’t stand for themselves.
Just hug them.
Remind them that what happened isn’t okay.
Remind them they’re not crazy for feeling crushed.
And depending on your child’s age and voice, stand in the gap if they can’t stand for themselves.
This is not the time to whisper, “That’s just how coaches are.”
This is the time to say, “That’s not who you are — and I’ve got you.”
This is the time to say, “That’s not who you are — and I’ve got you.”
To the coach —
Get it together.
You are the adult.
You are the model.
You are the one entrusted to lead.
Get it together.
You are the adult.
You are the model.
You are the one entrusted to lead.
If sarcasm is your leadership strategy — you don’t belong here.
If yelling, shaming, and tantrums are your default — step away from the bench.
You’re not coaching anymore. You’re unraveling.
If yelling, shaming, and tantrums are your default — step away from the bench.
You’re not coaching anymore. You’re unraveling.
Do you think kids make mistakes on purpose?
Do you?
Then why the public humiliation?
Why the verbal assaults?
Why the clipboard tosses and wild gesturing and meltdown moments?
Do you?
Then why the public humiliation?
Why the verbal assaults?
Why the clipboard tosses and wild gesturing and meltdown moments?
Because here’s what happens next:
Your athlete no longer plays the game.
They play not to make you mad.
They play to avoid. To appease.
They play in fear.
Your athlete no longer plays the game.
They play not to make you mad.
They play to avoid. To appease.
They play in fear.
And in fear — they’ll fail more.
And the spiral continues.
And the culture is broken.
And the spiral continues.
And the culture is broken.
And when they quit — make no mistake — that’s on you.
To the organizations hiring coaches —
Do better.
Character isn’t optional.
These are kids. Not commodities.
Do better.
Character isn’t optional.
These are kids. Not commodities.
We owe them better than shame-based leadership and emotionally unstable adults calling the shots.
So to everyone reading this —
Let this be the line.
Let this be the wake-up call.
Let this be the moment we stop justifying toxic coaching because of a win-loss record.
Let this be the line.
Let this be the wake-up call.
Let this be the moment we stop justifying toxic coaching because of a win-loss record.
Because if we’re losing kids — we’re not winning anything.
With heart,
A coach who sees it all
A coach who sees it all
© 2025 Becca Johnson, Rooted You™ Consulting. All rights reserved.
This content is the intellectual property of Becca Johnson and may not be reproduced, distributed, or used without permission.
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